Love I
Let me tell you a story about a boy and a boy. “Is this a homo love story?” you may ask and the answer is yes. It’s mine. So listen up, because although spoiler alert, we didn’t love each other the same way at the same time, I got to learn a lot about myself.
Our first conversation after facetime-ing:
Him: Me:
Ya tu sabes…
De que??
Nothing lmao go clean your kitchen.
Okay, here’s the invite.
*Invitation sent*
Okay, so it all started when I had the bright idea of inviting my 6th-grade bully to my 15th birthday party. I didn’t think he’d respond and I did it out of impulse.
Let’s take a step back for a second. In the 7th-grade, I realized that I liked guys, it wasn’t until March of 2020 that I came out to my friends and brother as bisexual. So I knew exactly what I was doing but back to the story.
A couple of minutes later he says, “Oh dude, what’s up? Sure, I’m down! When and where?” At these moments I thought I was getting played, but I didn’t stop because like I couldn’t play with one foot in and one foot out. Skipping ahead to the day of my party, by the way, it was a hotel party. So, all of my friends are there and my family and we’re chilling and I get a text at 6:30 pm saying, “I’m at work, I get off at 9 pm, you still want me to come?” So, you know what I said and if you don’t then you’re an idiot and you should start watching more teen romance movies. “Yeah, but if you gotta come out of your way, you don’t have to.” Let me tell you that hurt because I thought I was getting played. Then, you know my amazing friends (Jaque & Deja) tell me to put my phone down and get in the pool and have fun because it was my party. So I did for about an hour. We all chilling in my room and then my mom tells us that the pizza was there, so we all go down to the lobby cafeteria and then I open a couple of gifts and I remember someone yelling my name saying, “Dude someone is blowing up your phone…” I laughed and grabbed my phone, it was Clover and he pretty much said that I was trying to act like I didn’t care about him coming and then he says, “Don’t worry I’m 5 minutes away.” When I tell you that my heart dropped I lowkey think I giggled when I read that. After a while, my mom went up to her hotel room with the my god-mom to talk and then as I’m looking to the elevators I hear, “Hey Qwame! Is that you? Damn dude, you look different.”
Look, I have brown skin, I can’t blush. But let me tell you, in that moment, I felt it even if you couldn’t see it. By the time the weekend was over, I didn’t know if I found my best friend, soulmate, or both. Have you ever been able to have a conversation with someone and they just make you smile? Well, that was Clover for me.
After a couple of weeks of talking after my party, we started having deeper and deeper conversations. And then it came up. The hardest, most uncomfortable conversation for a teenager, or at least me. Sexuality. I’ll just format our text!
Clover: Me:
“So, do you like guys?”
“Do you?”
“I asked you first…”
“Yeah, but I’ve never told anyone before…”
“I do too, and I thought you did too!”
“Really?”
“Yeah, I thought if I came to your party, maybe we could talk…”
“As friends?”
“No, as like a relationship… but don't feel pressured!”
“No, it’s just surprising to me.”
“Look this may surprise you, but I was always mean to you because
When I was around you, your personality just opened me up and you
made me feel so free even when I was so mean to you. I’m actually
sorry btw.”
“Don’t worry about it, I’m over it.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yea, dude you’re pretty cool. But you can’t push people
away when you feel vulnerable or targeted.”
**The Next Morning**
“Hey, cowboy!”
“What’s up, mate.”
“You wanna come over for a sleepover?”
“Uh- sure, let me ask my mom.”
“My mom wants to know if she can get your mom’s
number”
“Yeah sure”
**Contact info sent**
“She said yeah, as long as I’m back by Sunday night by dinner.”
“Okay, cool! My mom can pick you up in like 2
hours. We’re grocery shopping right now.”
“Okay, let me know when you get here.”
***To Be Continued***
