Diary Entry

I feel really down. I feel like my body is ugly, my hair is too kinky, my lips are too big, my body isn’t skinny enough, my eyes are too low, and my chin reminds me of my big poppa (Mom’s dad). I don’t know if I should stop looking in the mirror. Cleanses and diets aren’t doing anything, I can only run so much before I die. Why do I feel this way? My body has thinned out but it can easily come back. I hate my life. I wish I could just make everything pause. But the world keeps moving. I’m tired of hiding in bed. It becomes uncomfortable. I should just be honest with myself. I should be honest with everyone about everything. I remember when I couldn’t hold food down for about 2-3 days but I kept it a secret. I don't want to be a charity case. That's not me. Can God hear me? Is he real? Why am I angry? Why am I sad? What should I say to my mom? “Hey, I’m bulemic, bisexual, and depressed. Love you talk to you later…”